Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize