He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As shirtless as possible
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
