so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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