the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
