I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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