I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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