Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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