she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
