The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i now understand why vodka
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize