Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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