We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
