there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
