dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
