That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
