Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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