even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
