I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
