I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
