haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
