matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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