Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize