she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
