so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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