It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize