I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think i got beer on your cat.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
