I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
