So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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