i barfeds in our rink
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
