if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Too much gin, very little bucket
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
