I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize