how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
