The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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