It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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