Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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