every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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