At least make sure they are 18
Why
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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