I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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