i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
