You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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