I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
