We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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