What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
