yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just threw up on my dentist
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
