how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize