we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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