You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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