you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
