have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
