I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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