How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
