I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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