take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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