Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
