So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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