I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
