just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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