roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize