Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
