Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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