Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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