Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
