at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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