You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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