let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
