I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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