I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
