I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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