Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
